A very very fun thing to do
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Other Obit Generators:
A Long Time Ago In A Graveyard Far Far Away...
Now's your chance to go down in history beside your favorite Star Wars characters. If the stress of life and work is getting to you, just fill your name in below and click "Make Obit" and find out how truly bad things COULD be. May the force be with you.


The Imperial Times
The Only Version of the Truth You'll Ever Need



Justice Served



More
Wacky
Fun




WOOKIE HAIR GROWTH FORMULA!
Great for covering up
Those embarrassing bald spots!
Now available at every Bulango's
(Ask about our new Ewok formula, too!)
Dark Side Triumphs Again!

Enter Name:




LAWSUIT DROPPED BY GUNNERS
Members of Death Star
Gunners Local 425 have dropped their
legal action against the Empire, sources
report. Citing various medical complications
cause by radiation exposure due to poor
insulation on the orbital station's main weapon,
the group recently suspended their suit
when their legal counsel was choked to death
by Darth Vader during a preliminary hearing.
Zod Mordo's Pre-owned
Speeders

When You Need Speed
But Don't Have the Credits!!

  • Top quality, low mileage
  • Many makes and models
  • One year warranty on parts
    and service
Ask about our slightly damaged
units and rebel repos - super
bargains for the citizen on a budget!




LIGHTSABER PARTS, CHEAP!
All colors of crystal,
many styles of handle.
Call 555-7712, ask for Debrok

Vol II, Episode III Copyright 2003-5 The Imperial Times, All Rights Reserved Section C3-PO


Want even MORE fun with misfortune? Check out "Horror Rules, the Simply Horrible Roleplaying Game." More fun than a lightsaber in the eye... and guaranteed to hurt less!


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